What keep you alive is never a flaw
by JackB
Summary: BruceWeek2018 -As Bruce takes a look back on his childhood, he can't really be surprised about the fact he is a mutant. He should have died back then, so many times. (Child Abuse and Heavy Theme. See the Tags & Warning inside.) Proceed with caution !
1. Chapter 1 - Safe to Read

**Title :** What keep you alive is never a flaw

 **Author :** JackB

 **Prompt :** Past + Pride

 **Warning :** Child Abuse, Violence against Child, + some other tag, each chapter will be appropriately tagged, just see the tag section at the head of each.

 **Resume :** As Bruce takes a look back on his childhood, he can't really be surprised about the fact he is a mutant. He should have died back then, so many times.

 **Tag :** Bruce Banner, Brian Banner, Rebecca Banner, Hank McCoy, Mutant Banner, Childhood, child abuse, Violence against child, Extreme violence, Heavy injury, emotional-physical-psychological Abuse, X-Men, hopefulness, some fluff at the end, Ultimate Science Bros, Mutant acceptation, sort of.

 **Note :** **The chapters are independent and not chronological** , they can be read in any sense, you can jump them and go right for what you want / avoid those you don't want to read, with no problem. Though the first and last chapter should be read first and last. Also you can totally skip the middle chapter and go just for the chap 1-4-8 who doesn't contain trigger.

Each chapter has their specific tag you must read them before going into the chapter, I haven't put every tag in the present tag section, but I will give you two tags for each chapter as an idea of what you will find on it. You will find more detailed tag ahead each chapter.

Chap 1 Safe to read

Chap 2 (Food Privation, Hurt/comfort)

Chap 3 (Extreme violence, Dissociative Identity Discorder)

Chap 4 Return in present on chap 3, safe to read, can be read even if you didn't read chap 3

Chap 5 (Drowning, Hurt no comfort)

Chap 6 (Physical abuse, burning)

Chap 7 (Pedophilia, Extreme Violence)

Chap 8 Safe to read

 **Another note :** When I say Extreme Violence expect Extreme Violence, not just violence or physical abuse it goes deeper/stronger, just be warned.

 **Another Another note :** due to a lack of time I don't actually made resolution for the 'past' chapters, by that I mean that I do not explore the extend of the trauma, nor explore way to cope in the present, because that's was not what this story was about, and really I didn't have the time. There is little present!Bruce and this story would derserve another arc to explore those thematic (which I may plan in the futur). I'm sorry if that's what you searched in this story.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

« You're a Mutant Bruce. My analyze are clear, you can check by yourself, but you got the gene. »

Hank said that to him one day. He had taken a retreat into the X-Men facility. The mutants gladly accepted him and he was not sure why. He was not that kind of Mutant, sure the Hulk was due to a mutation, but not that kind of mutation. He wasn't born with it. Still they accepted him despite his reputation. They gave him a breath from the world and he could even do scientific researches along side McCoy, aka the Beast.

Then a day came where Hank wondered if he was not a Mutant.

 _« I'm not. »_ He had said.

« But are you sure ? »

Bruce had offered him a dead look and Hank elaborated on the fact that plenty of mutations were not 'visible' and did not have necessarily an impact on the exterior. Some were fully intern, it did not make someone less of a Mutant.

« You told me you corrected your father equation on gamma nuclear physic at what ? Four ? Five ? »

« Somewhere around. »

« You know that's not possible for regular humans to do such a thing, you can't have that kind of intelligence if you're not a Mutant. That just not possible, the cognitive construction would never be advanced enough for you to make the connection and resolve complex equations and problems on nuclear and quantic physic. Nobody, fully human, could do that. »

« But I'm not.. I'm not a Mutant. »

« Would you mind if I check ? Because I think you could be. »

« That would be a waste of your time. »

« I'm okay to waste that time on this matter. I'm curious, let me do a check Bruce, please. »

He accepted despite finding that stupid. He can't refuse a fellow scientist colleague to satisfy his curiosity if it meant no harm on him. Which was the case.

 _« So what, my power would be_ _extreme intelligence ? »_ He joked a little dry. If he was a Mutant, he would have liked to have a power that would have helped him and his mother back then.

« Yes, maybe not only. »

 _« The rest is from the Hulk. »_ He waved off.

 _« Maybe. »_ Hank shrugged. _« Maybe not. »_

And the result had been here.

« I'm not. »

« You are. »

« Re-check. »

« I did, three times. »

« Still, I'm not. »

« Still, you are. »

He had denied the whole thing. He even checked himself the result, thanks to Hank previous work, he learned everything there were on the subject.

Well, he was. He had the gene. He was a Mutant.

« It's okay Bruce, there's nothing wrong with it and we're family and friends, we protect each other. You're not a simple guest anymore, you're one of us. »

He kind of reacted badly to the new. It's not like he was against Mutant, not at all, just the fact that he was one. If people knew. If the government knew. If Thaddeus Ross knew. It would only make his life harder, people would have another reason to hunt him, to confine him, to test on him. It was a dangerous information.

« Also during our many conversations, you mentioned the fact that you kind of heal fast. »

 _« That's the Hulk. »_ Bruce had snapped.

« But is it ? Because you were talking about time before the Hulk. And you said you have no idea what flu felt like when one of the kids got it and you helped treat it. »

« That's not exceptional, plenty of people never had the flu. »

 _« True, but did you ever get sick ? »_ Bruce had frowned in wonder.

 _« No. »_ He had hesitated, before resuming his anger. _« But that mean nothing, there's many human that have a strong immune system and never get sick. »_

 _« Yes, yes, of course, I'm just saying, there may be more, that's all. »_ Bruce had groaned before leaving. Hank did not stop him.

The following days weren't easy. Bruce mind was focused on what Hank told him. What if he was right ? What evidence he had for Hank hypothesis ? Abnormal high intelligence, fast healing, strong immune system and endurance.

What if it was what saved him back then ?


	2. Chapter 2 - Food Privation & HC

**Chapter 2**

 **Warning :** Domestic violence, food privation, hurt/comfort.

* * *

« Robert it's time, come to the table. » Rebecca called.

Bruce got out of his room and sat at the table. He was silent and discreet. The general ambiance was a little heavy, his father was already kind of drunk, but it was mostly calm. When he laid his eyes on him Bruce did everything he could to pass as unnoticeable. He was calm, eyes low, neutral.

His mother soon served them all and sat with them, they both waited for Brian to start to eat his omelette and roasted carrots. Bruce began to eat. But before he had the time to take a first bit, his father slapped his hand and the fork fell on the floor. He jumped in surprise.

« Brian. » Rebecca called.

But his husband ignored her and took Bruce plate to empty it in his own, then he put back the empty plate in front of his son.

Rebecca was tense, but played along as she handed her own plate and fork to her son.

« You should have told me you were that hungry, I would have made more. »

But before Bruce made a move, Brian pushed the plate.

« Brat like you don't get to eat. »

« Brian ! » She called harder. She pushed the plate toward him. « Eat sweetie. »

Bruce resumed his action hesitantly. But his father pushed again the food away from him.

« You don't eat. » He repeated.

Rebecca pushed the plate toward him.

« He has to eat honey. »

« He doesn't. »

« Bruce, you can eat, go on. » She murmured to him kindly, stroking his hair in a reassuring gesture before turning back her attention to her husband. « He's a child, he needs to eat, he's already too skinny for his age. »

« Robert ! If you eat that food, you will regret it. »

Bruce small hand held his fork tight, he felt small. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to eat, his mother told him to eat, but his father.. The room got heavier, his small heart beat fast and his stomach felt sick. He couldn't, could he ? He stared at his father, trying to make sense to all that but Rebecca caught his attention.

« Robert, eat your food, everything is alright. » She repeated to him a hand on his wrist. « You need food to grow. »

Brian pushed the plate back to his wife.

« You don't eat the food of your mother. »

Rebecca pushed back the plate toward him.

« It's okay, I'm not that hungry anyway. Let him eat. »

Brian didn't say a thing, so he started to eat, but before he could actually take a bit his father kicked his chair and made him fall.

He grunted in pain from the fall and at the time he refocused his attention on his parents, both were up. His mother in front of his father, protecting him.

« Please, let's sit again. You haven't even finished your meal. »

Brian frowned, his face was hard and they knew he could snap now, but instead he sat again and continued to eat his double meal. Rebecca helped Bruce to get up, caressed his face and whispered a very low 'don't cry'.

Soon enough the family was back at the table. Bruce did not touch his food, and his mother had none, so only Brian ate.

Rebecca encouraged her son to eat, again and again, with a soft, kind voice, it was reassuring, but he was scared and his father was staring at him. He just couldn't.

Brian slapped his fist on the table, which made Bruce jump.

« Stop, you annoy me. He doesn't deserve to eat. »

« Of course he does. »

« He doesn't, he's nothing for this house, we don't have to feed this thing. » He said with disgust whiles waving at Bruce.

« Stop that, he is our son, he doesn't have to own the right to eat. »

« He's just a freak. »

« Stop saying that. » She said harder and angrier.

Brian got up fast, hands slamming onto the table.

« You don't give me order, bitch. »

He was moving to touch Bruce, but Rebecca stopped him with a firm hand.

« Please stop. » She said calmer.

He slapped her away.

« You're not the boss of me, stop disobeying me. »

Bruce slapped his small hands on his ears, he did not want to hear his parent fight, still he could hear everything. He hated it, he hated it, so much. Because of him, his mother was being hurt. He hated it, why was it like that ? What did he exist ? It was all his fault.

After few minutes, he got up and interrupted them.

« Please father, I ate nothing, please don't hurt mom. »

Brian turned to him. His eyes were full of rage and mockery, his tooth smile was scary. He looked at him like he was feral. Bruce knew he made a mistake, he was terrified, a quick glare to his mother shown him she was afraid, afraid for him, afraid because she could probably not stop what was coming. Bruce was terrorized.

« And what ? You want to prize for that ? » He said with a mean voice. « You fucking idiot. »

With that he kicked him hard in the chest which sends Bruce on the floor with a painful cry. Rebecca screamed a stop but he pushed her away.

« You little piece of shit. »

He was going for another kick into his son but his wife stopped him.

« Bruce goes into your room now. » She ordered.

He ran hide inside his chamber and got on the corner of his bed. Big warm tears were falling on his cheeks as he continued to hear his parents scream behind the door. He knew his father was beating his mom but he couldn't do anything against it. And he hated it.

It's only a few hours later, when the night was already installed for good that his mother came into his room. A plate full on her hand and a glass of water in the other.

She smiled at him, kindly and his fear calmed a little.

« You're hungry my sweet boy ? » She asked whiles putting the plate and glass on his nightstand. He nodded. « Do you want to give mommy a big hug ? »

He jumped out of his corner to hug her tight. And she took him into her arms.

« I'm sorry, it's my fault. » He cried.

« Oh baby boy, it's not your fault, not at all. »

She kissed him a lot, smiled and laughed for him.

« Can you give me a smile ? » She asked. And he did, it was a sad smile but it was a smile. « Thank you sweetie, you're too good to mommy. »

« I'm never too good for you. » He simply said, and she gave him a huge smile.

« Let's eat now, you must be starving. » He nodded.

She stayed with him all along whiles he was eating. Then she told him a bedtime story and stayed at his side for a long time, telling him soft words and caressing his hair to comfort him. When she left, she kissed him good-night.

« I love you Bruce. »

« I love you too mom. »

« Sleep well my sweet boy. »


	3. Chapter 3 - Extreme Violence & DID

**Chapter 3**

 **Warning :** EXTREME VIOLENCE, against a child, against a woman, blood, rape (not on Bruce), exhibitionism, emergence of DID (dissociative identity disorder), strangulation

 **Note 1 :** You see the slip between Robert and Bruce, that's why I use Robert in the first part of the work.

 **Note 2** **:** In my HC (not sure if it's canon, or maybe not everywhere) Bruce is actually a personality who emerged during his childhood, and will become the main along side Hulk (who is another personality who emerged at the same moment) Robert the original stay hid into their mind, and barely come out. And let's say there is at least another personality named David ;) ;)

* * *

Some days were worse than others and today was that kind of day. His father had come home drunk and angry, not a much as drunk as he was used to but more angry as he was generally.

The whole evening had been a nightmare, not the kind you could wake up from, the kind who was just escalating more and more. There were no escapes.

First had been the usual screams and conflicts, then the degrading insults escalating quickly until he hit both his mother and him.

Sometimes he wished he was dead, that he had never existed, because then his mother wouldn't have to stand for him. She wouldn't be hurt if he wasn't here, would she ? She wouldn't take hit at his place, she wouldn't be bleeding because of him.

Tonight is worse than most days, far worse. Brian is not going to stop until he had what he wants, Robert. He wants to make him regret his existence. Not that Robert doesn't already do regret existing.

He is so terrified. He wants this to stop, it's okay if he's hurt, if his mother is okay. He wants to stand up against his father, but he is so terrorized, he just can't, his body barely obey him, he can't move, it's just too much. All he can do is cry and shake. His father is right he is so weak, so, so weak.

His mother keep standing for him. She is terrified too, but still stay so strong, she shields him until she can't anymore.

Brian hit her one more time, strongly enough for her to fall, she hurt a furniture and lie unconscious on the floor. Robert sees this and a cold fear wash over him. _Oh no, oh no no no._ Finally, Robert body reacts, panic rush over his fear and he runs to her.

« Mommy. »

His father catch him before he can even be close enough to touch her, and he throws him away.

« You shouldn't have been born in the first place and I'm going to correct that. » His fists are clenched tight.

Robert knows better than to stay here. He runs toward his chamber, knowing fully it will serve no purpose, his father would still come for him no matter what. It's only a delay. But he doesn't even get it. His father catches him again, an arm around his chest, he holds him so tight it makes Robert whine. When he releases him, the young boy fall on the floor with no way to make the fall hurt less. But it's nothing compared to the kick he receives. His father is literally putting all his strength into it.

Robert scream at each hit, he tries to crawl away, but there's no point, no escape, no relief.

« Mommy, please help me. » He mumbles. « Please wake up, help me. »

Brian catches his hair in a tight grip and pull him slightly out of the floor.

« That the only thing you can do ? Beg ? » He laughs. « Pathetic. »

He continues to kick him until Robert is only a ball curled on himself. Shaking from pain and fear.

« That's all your fault you know, what's happening. You're an error. I don't know how nature allowed you to exist, but I'm going to fix that. »

He grabs his wrist and shake him hard until he uncurls then Brian falls on his knees over his son and starts to punch him, fists clenched hard. Robert protect himself with his small arms but it barely do anything. He receives the hits over and over and pinned on the floor under his father he can't flee, he can only take.

If he can hear his bones break, he mostly feels them. They're crushed over and over. And when his arms can't hold anymore it's his face who gets crushed. Soon enough he can't even beg his father to stop anymore, not that it would serve any purpose.

« Mutant should die. YOU should die. Freak, Freak, Freak ! » His father repeats.

Robert knows he can't be a mutant, because if he was he could protect his mother.

He is sobbing and tears mix with blood, then he falls numb. He is going to die and there's nothing that can help him. Nobody, nothing. Why is there nothing ?

He just takes it until he can't move anymore, until the pain and distress is so intense he can't think anymore, until all he can do is see the situation from an exterior point. He's not here, he's not anymore the body getting crushed. He is not this pitiful weakling.

Finally, he stops to whimpers or groans in pain. There's nothing anymore. He can't give anything more into the fight. He can feel his jaws break, his orbits, his nose. His whole skull hurt, it's an excruciating pain and energy left him. He feels nauseous, his guts are throbbing and the pain flow to his shaking tight. Despite it, he is nerveless.

His father stops, he barely see him, blood covers his face and he barely has his eyes open. Brian breath hard. He is tired but satisfied with the result. He gets up and continue to kick him which send Robert on his side. If a last effort he covers his head with his arms as much as he can despite barely being able to move them.

His father continues to step hard on his head, over and over. His skull break under the assault but the pain doesn't even make him scream anymore, it's too intense to produce any sound. His arms finish to be broken and they fall nerveless on the floor.

The kick move toward his shoulder until it gives away and dislocate. He can see his mother still unconscious from where he is. He wants to go to her and hug her tight. That's the only clear thought he can form right now.

The assault move to his ribs who break in no time. Then it stops. Brian looks at him satisfied before leaving his side to go find alcohol he drink straight from the bottle. Pacing around the salon. Pleased with what he did. Pleased to see his child immobile and bloody. It makes him feel euphoria, his eyes drift to his wife who is still unconscious. Which is bad because right now he wants to celebrate.

He considers the thing a moment then put his bottle on the table and kneels on her. He grabs her legs and bring her closer to him, ripping off her panties and unbuckling his pants. Few strokes and he penetrates her. She is unconscious so he doesn't bother being slow and already go on the pace he wants.

Robert mind drifted away since the assault stopped. Yellow, green and purple flash over his eyes and in the back of his mind pain his building something he doesn't understand, it's blurry, incoherent and he feels like being open from the inside, cold wind rushing inside him before it close again, he is inside in the safe warmness of his mind and he can feel he is not alone.

Bruce attention ripped off from what feel like a dream, when he hears slapping sound. He focus on what's next. He is right in front of it and he can't turn away. He has no strength for that, his body can't move anymore.

He can see his father pounding hard into his unconscious mother, having no consideration for the fact he can see him do that, he probably thinks he is dead or just don't care about being seen.

Bruce understands few minutes after that's it's the second, his father might have seen him move a finger or something, because he said proudly. « See, that's what real men do, they take, they don't beg. » Then he tears off the chest part of Rebecca's dress. « She might be protecting you, but she is all mine and I have her whenever I want. » He laugh dryly before focusing again on his wife.

Rebecca finally pulls out of unconsciousness and she barely take the time to register what is happening that she already fighting her way out.

« Get off me. » He slaps her just for saying that and readjust his position on her so she can't flee him that easily.

« Shut up. »

« I don't want it, stop it. » She continues.

« Should I care ? You're mine and I take you if I want you, you can't say a thing, I'm the chief here. »

She spit at his face and he slaps her even harder.

« You stupid bitch. » He grabs her neck tightly and she tries to punch him but he got the ascending. « Stop fighting or I will find another hole to fuck. »

« Stop it. » She whimpers.

« You don't get to tell me what to do. » He grabs her hair and pull them back.

Rebecca finally see her son lying on his side, his face covered in blood, his arms deformed and bruising already. He doesn't move, she can barely see him breathe. Anger and terror fill her.

« What did you do to him ? » She growls, tears in her eyes. He slaps her again and grabs one of her breasts he squeezes until it hurt.

« Robert received what he deserved. »

 _He_ is not Robert. That's not his name.

« Bruce. » Rebecca says softly ignoring the assault she is living as she turn back her head toward her son. « Bruce sweetie, close your eyes. Please Bruce, please close your eyes. Please my baby, don't watch, be an angel and close your eyes everything will be okay, just close your eyes. »

That's it. He is not Robert, he is Bruce and he is gonna be an angel for his mom. He closes his eyes, which is worse because now he hears everything strongly, but he keeps his eyes shut.

Brian grabs her violently and she screams in pain before starting to cry. Bruce can hear everything. How badly his mother his now crying and protesting. How the sound resonates in his head. The skin slapping and the wet sound he doesn't understand. But he keeps his eyes shut because that's what his mother asked him to do, and she always knows better.

He wishes, he wishes he could he stronger, he wish he could rip his father away from his mother, so she wouldn't be hurt anymore because of him. He wants to be the strongest. Stronger than his father, stronger, stronger stronger, he repeats that as a mantra until the word loses its sense in his mind. But he is here, lying dead with no possibility to act. He hates it, he hates it so much.

Rebecca is now being strangled and he can only hear the sound in horror. The back of his mind tickle him, growl and talk but he doesn't pay much attention to it. She falls unconscious again, silent retake place and only his father's grunt and all the weird sound he can hear break it.

He can't do a thing, so he waits.

He barely registers when his mother finally come to see him. She carries him muttering some excuse, 'my poor boy, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.' She takes care of him for the rest of the night. The injuries are serious and she fear he might die. She would have taken him to the hospital, but Brian left with the car and they are too isolated for her to find another working way. So she does her best to take care of Bruce. At the second Brian come back, she leaves for the hospital.

He barely says anything he is just listening to the soft voice his mother has as she tells him she loves him and how sorry she is. He wants to apologize to her.

It's his fault, not hers.


	4. Chapter 4 - Safe to Read

**Chapter 4**

He barely had any clear memory from this time, the more he retrieved it from his brain, broken pieces, by broken pieces, he still couldn't believe it had happened. He always thought he exaggerated, that his mind had worked his way around to make it far darker in an attempt to explain and cope from the trauma.

Because clearly, he should have been dead. No human would have survived that. Even if he always remembered clearly enough some moment after, how his dislocated shoulder felt the next week, how his ribs were painful, staying sensible for months, years after, he didn't fake that. Nor how his mother took care of him over and over until he healed. This was real.

As real as his father repeating that he healed way too fast, and at the time Bruce had no idea how fast his injuries were supposed to heal.

Rebecca always said it was because the wounds were superficial. She told her husband that since he was drunk he didn't hit hard enough to make permanent damage or to actually kill him. Brian didn't believe it, but he was not sure. With what he had put this son through, he shouldn't be alive, so how could he, be alive ? Mutant or not Bruce should have died. So maybe, just maybe if he wasn't it was because Brian didn't put enough into it.

It had always confirmed Bruce idea of how his brain darkened the reality, when actually it wouldn't have been that bad.

How wrong he had been. His brain lightened his memory, he didn't make it darker.

At the instant he started to rethink his past this memory had been around, too blurry to actually offer him a real answer. So he asked the Professor X his help get this particular memory right and clear, he needed it. Charles accepted, understanding the quest Bruce recently took. So he did, he brought Bruce back at the root of the memory before it got altered by trauma and time.

Now what the physicist had in mind was cold hard fact, and clearly he should have died this time, there were no ways a human would have survived with what his father had put him through.

Humans couldn't survive to this kind of injury, a mutant with an appropriate mutation could have. He wanted to call the luck argument, just to fight the idea, but it was pointless and he remembered how Charles looked at him at the end. He understood, they both did know what this memory implied. And his eyes were a mix between apologize, sadness, hope and opening. Something Bruce couldn't accept at the moment.

This single memory was a sufficient proof of his mutant statute.

And it made Bruce feel awful.

He had made a safe retreat to his room and didn't get out since. A knock on the door caught his attention. He recognized Hank voice.

« Sorry to bother you, I heard that Charles helped you to go back on a memory. So I've taken the initiative to make a list of things you told me about you that were weird enough not to be human. Good night Bruce. »

He left after sliding the paper under the door. Bruce took it, but didn't read it.


	5. Chapter 5 - Drowning & Hurt No Comfort

**Chapter 5**

 **Warning :** Drowning, Insult, Hurt No Comfort, Trauma

* * *

Bruce feels anxious. He has been an hour on the same math problem. It's not like it's really difficult, he's just training over few techniques and formulas, but he can't get his mind to function, to focus on it.

His father is late, he is often late and it just stress Bruce out. When he will come back, it will all be conflict and violence and he's just terrified by it. And in a way impatient. He just knows it will come, he just knows his father gonna beat him and his mom. And by knowing that he can't help and overthink about it, anxiety eat his wholes focus. He just wants it to be over, he wants it to be done so he can focus.

He wants the liberty to concentrate on something else than what his father might do or not do. And the only way for that is having his father do something to him.

He wants it. And it hates himself for that. He wants his father to hit him, because then, it's done and he can study and learn without his anxiety taking all his attention. How sick he is for that ? To want such a thing he really must be a freak, a monster. He hates it, it hates it all, all he wants is it to be over.

He's nervous, his skin is itchy. What it would be this time ? What is he gonna do ? Where is he gonna hit and grab, and push ? How hurt is he gonna finish at the end of it ?

It's too much, it's all too much. He needs to wash it away. And there's only one thing for that.

He go to the bathroom and let cold water fill up the bath. It's winter and he's gonna be freezing at the end, the house is already not really warm, but cold water is the only thing that help him forget his father hands on him, the scream, the insult, and his too numerous injuries he has.

He crawls into the bath and let the cold catch his attention. He knows he can't stay long, he might be alone at home right now, but his father would not like it if he knew he occasionally took baths. But just one more minute, one more minute away. And one more, and one more again.

His father comes home angry. He can hear it.

He barely move, he has to be silent as he comes out of the bath, he doesn't want to catch attention right now. He hears slamming doors, all his anxiety comes back, it's gonna be bad. Brian finally enters the bathroom as he just put a foot out of the bath. He looks up to his father, terrified.

It's a cold controlled anger he can read on his father's face. But as his eyes drift to the carnet Brian is holding, he knows it's not gonna stay controlled for long.

Oh he agreed, he searched it. His son correcting his work is not something he likes, at all. Bruce knows that, still, call that revenge or stupidity, he did it anyway. Knowing fully it's forbidden.

« You touched my work. » It's not a question and so on Bruce doesn't talk, he is still immobilized, one foot outside the bath, the other one inside, his naked skin starting to dry in the cold air. « You put your dirty brat hands on MY work. » Bruce lower his eyes. « I thought I have been clear last time. » Bruce wants to snap back, to ask if what he corrected had worked, and he wants to be smug about it. He doesn't say a thing though. « Why did I allowed a freak like you to exist ? You're nothing, you should thank me to let you crawl on this Earth. » Then he throws hardy his carnet on the floor and scream. « Answer me you pathetic monster. » Bruce whines in fear but doesn't answer. « I should have killed you. » His voice is darker as he says that.

He walks fast toward Bruce and grabs him by the arm.

« Please, I'm sorry. » Bruce finally says.

« Oh you will be sorry. »

With that he crushes his son onto the bath and in no time he is holding him under the water. Bruce can't hear what is father say but he recognizes some words, 'failure' 'garbage' 'freak' 'monster' he knows them far too well, he could recognize them everywhere. He kicks around, tries to shake away his father hands on his neck to get free. He tries with all he got, but he is too weak to actually really bother his father. Soon enough his hands scratch his father arms. It does nothing more than make his father shake him under the water.

He's panicking. He already has no air. He needs to breathe. Water enters his nose whiles he struggle, which is painful. He has to get out of the water, it's urgent. But he can't, he can't, he can't.

It becomes too much for him, too hard. Air, air, air Air ! Air ! AIR ! He has no idea how long he's been under water. He recognizes his father pleased and satisfied smile despite it being blurry.

He enjoys it.

Bruce tries to relax, fighting his self-preservation instinct. Maybe it will be enough for his father to bring him back at the surface and let him breathe. But it's not. Ten second are the equivalent for minutes for Bruce and it's been too long, he can't hold back anymore, he needs oxygen right now ! His mouth open by reflex. Take a breath, take a breath. It only takes water.

The cold liquid enter his lungs and it's pure agony. A fire burning right in his chest. He had spasms but soon enough his little body go numb and he loses consciousness.

Brian pulls his son out of the water and with no compassion at all, almost throw him on the floor before leaving.

« Hope it teaches you something. »

He leaves Bruce for dead. Actually hoping he would be. He has been holding him long enough for that.

It takes ten to fifteen minutes for Bruce to start to cough. For several minutes it's only that. Him expelled the water out of his lungs. It's so painful that he cries at the same time. When it's finally over, he curls himself up onto the cold floor and rest a little, just the time for his fear to lower enough for him to move again.

He's gonna be able to focus on his math now.


	6. Chapter 6 - Physical Abuse & Burning

**Chapter 6**

 **Warning :** Physical abuse, Burn, threat, hurt no comfort, food privation

* * *

« Robert ! » Brian called. « Grab me another beer. »

Despite being as silent as possible his father had been aware of his presence. He didn't even cough despite the bitter smell of cigarillos that was making a thick cloud in the room. Still they both seemed to have a radar for each other, Bruce could spot him at any moment and Brian generally did the same.

He knew better than to disobey so he took a beer and gave it to his father. In the exchange Brian grabbed his arm and crushed his cigarillo on Bruce skin who hissed and jerked away. But he was far too weak to free himself.

Once his father relieved him, Bruce pulled his arm to his chest. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. Still he felt distressed. He had done absolutely nothing, didn't he gave the beer fast enough ?

« Now get lost. »

Bruce didn't wait to be told twice, but first he got back to the kitchen, he was hungry and he tried to take something to eat before going back to his homework. He should have known better.

« It's not the time to eat ! » His father said with a serious voice.

« I don't feel too well, can I have an apple ? At least. » He tried to justify.

It was true, he felt a little dizzy, his brain needed more sugar to function.

« No food. »

But Brian wasn't watching him, he didn't even lay an eye on him since he got back from work. So Bruce took a glass and filled it with water at the same time he took an apple and hide it in his clothes. Water had always been allowed, so it was not a problem and the sound would cover his action.

He backed off in his room and ate as fast as possible the apple, he didn't leave anything, not even the pips. Leaving no track was the best answer to everything.

He got back onto his books and it's only an hour after than his father entered his room. His strong and confident posture made Bruce freak out. He immediately got up and stayed head low in front of his father.

« You took an apple. »

« No, I did not. »

Brian took angrily his trash can and checked for a rest, he found nothing, of course.

« You took one. How many apples there were ? »

« I don't know. »

« I brought six, there are only five left. »

Well, of course, that was the only thing he couldn't cover. But generally his father didn't cared about the numbers of something, even less if it was fruit.

« You dirty fucking liar ! » He roared.

He grabbed Bruce arm and dragged him in the kitchen. The young boy fought the grip in vain and watched in horror his father light up the fire.

« No, No, No. » He screamed.

« Liar get punished. »

With that Brian took Bruce hand and placed it on the fire. He clenched his fist but it still burned.

He screamed as hard as he was capable of and jerked away so violently that he finally freed himself. His father didn't wait to slap him so hard he fell on the floor.

« You little brat, I'm gonna make you pay, that's your face who gonna burn. »

Bruce sent him a mean glare and ran to his room.

« Yeah, yeah ran, I will always get you, you pathetic coward. »

Rebecca came back at this moment, Brian calmed a little and his attention drifted off Bruce.

In his room hidden under the bed, Bruce cried over his throbbing hand, it was so painful, so deep and harsh.


	7. Chapter 7 - Pedophilia & ExtremeViolence

**Chapter 7**

 **Warning :** Pedophilia from a stranger on Bruce. Extreme violence against a child, body deformation, Pain, blood, strangulation, psychological-emotional manipulation.

* * *

His father took him visit one of the biggest and most famous aquariums in the world. He needed to meet a friend of his, another scientific, and so on, why not take his son with him. Bruce could learn plenty of things and his father had an excuse if he wanted to leave 'I need to take care of my son.' On the road Brian told him not to cause any problem, to obey him strictly and more importantly, to go with whatever he said. If he said that he was sick, Bruce had to play along and be sick.

The reason he gave was because his colleague talked far too much and you needed a backup to escape. Bruce would be Brian backup.

« Also Dr. Martin love children, be nice to him, depend on what he wants to show me, but you might have to distract him away, ask questions, drag him in the aquarium, whatever, be curious, he will play along and leave me alone to work on his things. »

Bruce agreed to plan it was not much to pay to be able to the whole facility and be away of his father. Also if Bruce was good enough, he might even see what was behind. The Dr. Martin could even take him to see the creature they had closer. So Bruce would give his father anything to just be able to stay the whole day.

His father did not lie concerning how much Dr. Martin was talking, nor about how he liked children. Bruce got half of his attention the whole time he was explaining his father what he needed his help for.

« Can I go see the fish now ? » He asked hesitantly once both men settled to work and he was kept away.

« Of course. » His father said in a nice voice. « Oh Andy, can you give him a tour ? He couldn't stop asking questions on the road, he is really interested by the creature you have. »

« Oh why not but and our work ? I can call on of our girl to give him a special tour. »

« Don't worry, I got it, I will call for you if I need to. Also I know you love to give extra info, and Robert would love to go with you, I kind of told him you're the one who revolutionized this aquarium, so he was pretty existed to meet you, isn't it Robert ? » Brian gave a stare at Bruce, who immediately agreed.

« Yes. »

« Oh well, then okay. I let you in peace Brian. » He laughed then crouched before Bruce. « What do you want to see first ? The shark ? »

« Can we go see the octopus ? Please. » He asked shyly.

« Oh, oh, good choice, I already like you young boy. » He patted affectionately his hair, then took his hand to guide him out of their lab. « How old are you ? »

« Seven. » He said happily, Dr. Martin was nice with him and he got to see many beautiful aquatic creatures.

« Seven ? Then you're a big boy. »

« Thank you Doctor Martin. » The adult laughed.

« Doctor Martin, come on, you can call me Andy. »

The visit got perfectly well. Bruce was listening to everything Martin was saying, asked a lot of questions which were always perfectly received. He even bought him a waffle and an apple juice. He was very nice and affectionate with him. He often had a hand on his shoulder or his back and took him in his arms a lot. Bruce did not protest, it was nice to have someone gentle and caring with him. Brian was hard on him and if other adult men treated him well, none gave him this kind of attention. It was addictive. He has seen many other children with their father being caring and happy with them, he had no idea what it could have felt like until today. He had always been jealous, but now it was his turn. Even if Dr. Martin was not his father and it was just for few hours.

Andy had been really tactile all day, it felt odd to Bruce, he was not used to it at all, but he guessed it was normal. It was getting late, people were leaving whiles the dusk made his apparition.

« We have manta rays in convalescence, would you like to see them ? » Bruce nodded. « Good. » He took his hand and guided him in the professional area until they were in front of a basin where two manta rays were swimming.

« Sailor believed they could sink boats. »

« Really ? But they are not that big for that. »

« For sure. » Andy laughed. « They respected them a lot. They're beautiful isn't it ? »

Bruce shifted as much as he could. The position he was in was uncomfortable. Dr. Martin had his foot on the lowest ledge of the aquarium and had pushed Bruce on his leg so he could sit on it to rest whiles he had an arm around his chest like he was hugging. But it pressed him more on his leg and it was a little painful.

« They are. » Bruce answered.

« Do you want to touch them ? They love caresses. »

« I can ? » He exclaimed with a vivid voice. Andy laughed gently.

« I give you a special authorization. »

Bruce was getting up to plunge his hand in the water, but Andy kept him in place a little longer with a firm grip on him.

« But you have to be good, you must not hurt them. You can promise that ? »

« I will not, I promise. »

« You let them come to your hand. »

Bruce nodded and Martin released him. He stared at him for the confirmation he could really do it.

« Go on. » Bruce was happy and smiled as he plunged his arm into the cold water. Watching attentively as the rays moved around. One getting closer to him. It drifted away before Bruce could touch it and they did the same few times.

« Keep your hand still, they will come. » Andy murmured.

Bruce did as he was told and the rays finally approached enough for him to touch them from the tip of his fingers. One of them came back more than once, allowing him to touch them more and more until he could caress it with his whole palm. He giggled.

« They are soft. » He said.

« Indeed they are. »

Andy had his hand on his hip, but Bruce was too focused on the rays to actually paid much attention to it.

« It's been twenty minutes, we will have to let them in peace now. »

« Okay. » Bruce pulled his arm away slowly.

« It was nice ? »

« Very, I loved it, thank you very much. »

« You're welcome. » He patted Bruce hair. « A lot of animal love being touched or petted, generally by their own kind, but sometime by others. »

Andy hand started to move on Bruce chest as he kept him close against his leg. It made Bruce uncomfortable.

« Can we go see other fish ? » He asked.

« We can. I can give you another whole tour, since we keep a lot of species away from the public. »

« Really ? »

« Yes, but I don't think we have the time for that. »

« Oh. » Bruce exclaimed a little sadly.

« But I can show you something else ? »

« What ? »

« Would you like it ? »

Bruce had no idea what it was but he nodded happily anyway. « Yes. »

« Good boy. » Andy hand passed under his sweater and shirt to touch his skin directly in a soft caress. Bruce whined in surprise. « You've been a really good boy today Robert. »

« Di.. Did I ? » He stammered, destabilized as Dr. Martin second hand stroked his tight.

« Yes, you've been really good. I think you deserve a reward. »

« A reward ? »

« Yes, would you like that ? »

Bruce was now afraid. He didn't want to be touched anymore, not like that. It didn't feel nice like earlier in the day when Martin gave him affection. This, this made him afraid, made him feel bad.

« Would you like that Robert ? » He repeated softly in his ear.

Would he get in trouble if he said no ? Would his father be angry at him ? He had no idea. Still this whole new situation made him feel bad. Andy shook him slightly to pick up his attention.

« Would you like to get a reward ? » He repeated again.

He shook his head negatively.

« No ? You don't want ? » Dr. Martin kept his hands on him, continuing to touch him with a soft caress. « But you've been a good boy, it's a special reward for special good boy like you. It would be a mistake to miss it. »

Bruce shook his head again.

« Oh really ? But do you even know what this reward is ? »

« No. » He muttered low.

« I will show you. »

The Dr. Martin started to unbutton Bruce pants whiles getting his sweater and shirt up. Revealing healing bruise.

« How did you get that ? » He asked in worry. Passing the tip of his fingers on it very gently.

« I'm clumsy, I've fallen. » Bruce answered his usual lie.

« Is this true ? »

« Yes. »

« That's what your dad asked you to tell ? » Bruce didn't answer. « Don't worry, I won't hurt you like Brian do, I'm gonna make you feel all good, because you've been a really good boy. »

His hand drifted on Bruce groin, not actually touching his penis, but caressing around, slipping on the inside of his thighs which made Bruce jerk, whiles another hand kept stroking his chest.

« Please. » Bruce whined.

« What do you want ? You can ask anything you want. »

He turned Bruce around and made him sit on his laps, legs apart on each side of his own adult legs. They were now face to face.

« Come on tell me, what does a good boy like you want ? » He asked again whiles still caressing him.

« Can we stop and go see the fish again ? » He asked shyly in a low voice.

« Really ? »

Bruce nodded.

« I thought you would like it. Everybody like being touched, even the rays like you saw. Isn't it comforting ? »

Bruce shrugged.

« I can make it even better if you want. » His hand started to touch Bruce crotch. « Right here it's good. I can make you feel all good, would you like that ? »

Bruce shook his head again, covering himself with his own hands.

« No ? You don't want to try ? »

« No. »

« You want to stop. »

« Yes please. »

Andy sighed and left Bruce alone, putting back his pants and sweater until he was all good. He patted his hair.

« You're still a good boy, you did really good. »

« Did I ? »

« Oh yes. »

« I'm not gonna be punished ? » Andy laughed.

« Oh no my sweet boy, of course, not. You did nothing wrong. I'm a little disappointed you don't let me make you feel good, but it's all okay. Would you like to see some baby octopus ? They're a few days old. »

« Yes please. »

« Good, take my hand I will show you, then we will go back to your father, okay ? » Bruce nodded.

It's half an hour after that they got back to the laboratory where Brian was finishing taking notes.

« It's a really nice boy you have here Brian. »

He turned to see his friend and son coming back.

« He has been nice ? »

« Really nice. Did you finish ? »

« Two hours ago, I was just checking again. »

« Thank you so much, it caused me so much trouble. »

« Glad I could help. »

As they were debriefing the journey, another scientific came and asked Bruce if he was hungry. He said yes and she took him on another room where he was given a hot chocolate and some biscuit until Brian came to collect him.

They got out by the external stairs, generally reserved for the personnel. Night already took place, it was very dark and the stairs were really high since they were at the top of the building.

« Dr. Martin kept making compliments on you. He said you've been a good boy today. »

He looked at his father despite the darkness.

« I.. »

« Shut up, I don't want to hear your voice. » Brian snapped, his hand up ready go give a hit, Bruce immediately protected himself with his arm. But he received nothing. He had no idea why his father was angry right now, nothing bad happened, he did nothing wrong. « You enjoyed your day huh ? »

Bruce said nothing. Which leads him to be hit this time. He whimpered.

« Answer me you worthless piece of shit. »

« Yes. » He said quickly.

« I didn't. Dr. Martin work was not important and certainly not interesting and you played with him all along whiles I worked. Do you think it's fair ? »

« You asked me to keep him away from you. » He knows he shouldn't have said that. He received another hit which made him fall and bump the metallic structure of the stairs.

« You talk back now ? You're cocky Robert and I don't like that. »

« I'm sorry. » He got up and tried to make himself smaller.

« Do you think I care if you're sorry ? » He grabbed his son by the shoulder and immobilized him in front of the stairs. « Let's try something, do you want to help me make my day better ? » He took a step away.

Bruce turned his head to him and muttered a shaking « Yes. » He was truly terrified, he knew this particular tone of voice his father had and knew that whatever was coming it was going to be really bad. Above the usual really bad.

« Good, then die. »

Brian kicked Bruce with all his strength on the stairs, the boy fallen on the void until his little body hurts the structure. With the impulse he didn't stop his fall until he hit the ground, six floors stairs below, whining in pain. His wholes body in shock, incapable of moving not that he could have when his legs and one of his arms were broken and torn in unnatural ways.

He cried alone the time Brian got down nonchalantly before standing above him. Not making any caring gesture toward him.

« Still alive ? You disappoint me. »

Bruce felt more terrified than he'd ever been. A pure sadistic monster was looking at him like he was the most insignificant thing in the world, like God over an insect. He was at his mercy, at the mercy of a creature who wanted him dead. It was crushing him how dependent he was. How easily his father could kill him, and how at the same moment, he was his only hope.

« Help me, please, dad. » He begged between to big sobs.

Brian just laughed, the soft light of a street light behind him made him even more impressive. Like the devil. Despite his distress and pain, the image marked into Bruce mind in the pure sense of terror and distress.

« You're so pathetic. » He crouched at his side. « How come you're not dead yet ? » His hand grabbed his son's small neck and pressed hard. Making Bruce whimper even more, he moved his only working arm and tried to push away the hand that was cutting the air out. Bruce's heart beat even faster to the point he felt nauseous. _Oh please, please, please, make it stop, I don't want to die. Please, please, please._ He begged silently while struggling against the grip.

When he finally let go, Bruce coughed. It only brought him more pain. His whole chest was painful, especially on the right side where a sharp pain was irradiating. Making him feel really dizzy and dying.

« Freaking mutant ! I should let you rot down here. » He sighed and after few minutes at watching Bruce struggles and almost losing consciousness he said. « Let get you to the hospital. » With a disturbing normal and bored voice.

With that, he grabbed Bruce by his sweater and dragged him to their car. He was not even bothering about carrying him, just dragging him. The movement made Bruce cries even more. His dislocated body trailing on the floor just woke up even sharper pain. He felt one of his knees turns and cracks back in place, the pain was so intense that it almost sent him away.

In an effort he tried to go back to his feet to walk, but it was pointless and the effort sucked up the last bit of strength he had.

He woke up in a hospital, his father bent over him and whispered to his ears so low that nobody else could hear.

« If you say anything about what happened, I will kill all the nice doctor and your dear mommy, you don't want her to be hurt isn't it ? So what you're going to say is how you tripped over your undone shoelaces. Right ? Because if you don't, many, many people are gonna suffer because of you. Blink if you swear to be a good boy. »

Bruce blinked. His father answered with a satisfied smile.

« Oh he woke up ? » Someone entered the room.

« Oh yes doctor, I was going to call you. »

Bruce mind drifted away.


	8. Chapter 8 - Safe to Read END

**Chapter 8**

Bruce finally took the list Hank gave him few days ago. He smiled sadly at how surprisingly long it was. It was actually not very long, but he didn't think about sharing that much. He was feeling way too comfortable and to be honest talking with Hank was easy and pleasant. Their conversation always drifted away from their main subject and they ended up talking for hours about pretty much anything. His vigilance always lowered and it was not surprising he shared personal information and stories. Hell it was how this whole 'can I check if you're a mutant,' started.

He didn't feel as bad as usual, knowing Hank knew this kind of information. Which for sure was another layer of proof on the fact that he was not human. He trusted him, and McCoy had no interest in selling the information or betraying him. They were friends and both mutant, weren't they ?

He knocked at Hank's door and waited to be invited inside.

« You disappeared few days. »

« I did. » He said a little anxious.

« Anyway, I continued to work on the biological impact of teleportation, and I need you to recheck what I did, because I think I made a huge error, and you're far better than me on quantum physic than me and.. »

« Yes, no problem, but first I just wanted to.. » He stops as Hank look up to him from his work.

« Yes ? » He said warmly.

« You were right, there is no way. » He looked at his feet before refocusing on his blue friend. « There is no way I'm not a mutant, considering some things that happened before the Other Guy. I wouldn't have survived without, whatever my mutation is. I'm, I'm a mutant. »

Hank broke into a big smile and got up quickly « haha. » He exclaimed happily getting closer to Bruce.

« I know it's not easy for you to accept. But beside me and the Professor X nobody knows if you're a mutant or not. It can stay like that forever. I will never tell a soul and Charles neither. This information belongs to you. But I want you to know that you will always be part of us, if you need help, we will see what we can do. Also nobody here would ever go sell you to the government. »

« Well, thank you. »

« Also I have something for you. »

Bruce frowned as Hank searched in a wooden chest. He pulled out a shirt with marked 'Mutant and Proud' on its front and back and he presented it to Bruce with a big smile.

« It's your size, I got you a green one, but really you can have one of any color. »

« Seriously ? » Bruce had first wanted to tell Hank to go off, but his expression and the tone of his voice already lightened his mood, and he just split into a smile, then a soft laugh. « Really ? » He continued.

« Oh yeah. » Hank nodded then threw the shirt at Bruce. « Put it on. » The physicist glared at him. « Please. »

« Fine. » Bruce complied and pulled out his current shirt, throwing it on Hank desk at the moment someone entered the room, whiles Bruce was still half-dressed.

« Ok, I repass later. » They said before closing the door again in the second.

Bruce and Hank looked at each other and laughed.

« You look good in it. » Hank said once Bruce put the shirt on.

« It's just a shirt. » He rolled his eyes.

« Nah, it's not just a shirt, it's a Mutant and Proud shirt. » The Beast corrected, leading his friend to a mirror. Bruce touched the fabric where the words were marked.

« Mutant and Proud. » He murmured, feeling the word in his mouth. He just had the words 'Freak' and 'Monster' echoing in the back of his mind. « Mutant and Proud. » He repeated. It felt weird on his tongue.

« Proud to be who we are ! Because we are wonderful and we shouldn't feel less than proud to exist and to be. »

« Proud huh. »

« Yes proud. You can be proud of yourself Bruce. » The physicist scoffed. « Proud to have survived so much. »

« Yes because I have a mutation. »

« You don't have a mutation, you're a mutant, it's you, at the core. And I think it's wonderful that you're still alive. »

« Why ? » He asked, truly serious, he didn't find the fact he was still alive wonderful. He would actually prefer to be dead.

« Because you're my friend, and if you hadn't been a mutant, maybe I would have never met you. Which would have been a waste. » Bruce rolled his eyes again with a smile. « I also have something else for you. »

He returned to the chest and pulled out a X-men vest. Bruce shook his head negatively.

« No, No. »

« At least consider it. »

« I'm too dangerous. »

« Yeah, I think we can manage. » Hank said nonchalantly. He came closer and handed the vest to Bruce. « At least try it. »

« Fine, Fine. »

Bruce put on the jacket and watched carefully his reflection in the mirror, considering the possibility. _Him, an X-men ?_ He just wanted to scoff. But the feeling was nice. He pulled out the jacket.

« I will just keep the shirt for now, thanks. »

« As you wish, but the offer is still open. Actually you will have to turn down the Professor X, I kind of spoiled the news to you. »

« Oh I will try to appear surprised. »

« You can always try to fool Charles but. » He winced to show the impossibility of the task, Bruce smiled.

« Also, during the last day, I barely ate, care to join me for a meal ? »

« With pleasure my friend. »

They both got out of the room and walked into the corridor, direction the kitchen. Halfway, Hank stopped Bruce a hand on his chest.

« Wait don't you want to change ? » He pointed the shirt.

« Well, it's past midnight, almost all the kids are asleep, and hum, I feel like keeping it, at least tonight. » Hank gave him a smile. « Also I'm a mutant, I have to be proud. » The Blue Beast patted his shoulder.

« That's the spirit. » He paused. « And my friend, I hope one day it will be 'I'm a mutant and I'm proud' for you. »

« Give me some time. »

« Of course, but I look forward to this moment. » He said with a big smile.

It warmed Bruce heart, making him too, look forward to the moment where he would be proud of who he is. It would be a long way, he had so much to deal with before. But maybe one day he would be..

 _Mutant and Proud._

 **End.**


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